Hardly has she a memory of fond moments with him. Even those that linger have started to fade away. The life she’s lived alone outweighs any time ever spent with him. How could he ever ask any thing more from her? How does he expect her to hand over so much to a mere stranger? Memories are something so special and so cherished. Her treasure is what he asks in exchange for what? Blood? Even strangers ask for far less and yet know so much more of who she is than her good ol’ papi. A shame it is in all honesty because at one point he was her god, her king! Her everything. Her almighty.
Amazing how life can play games on one. One second daddy’s little girl, the next? Abandoned. Oh the trickery! Left all alone since her almighty no longer there to care.Only on those set days when the law required for him to be there. A dead beat dad made her just another statistic and instead of settling for that, she made herself non-existent. She simply said no to they joys. She said no to the stresses. Sure, it was tough being on her own and to be numbed of emotion made her fonder of independence. Younger than most she learned to think for herself. Wrapped up in books and writings helped her grow up and handle life’s toughest situations. So here’s a little letter, a forever farewell to him from that tiny little no one trapped within:
I won’t even ask how you’ve been. I hear you aren’t doing fine. In all honesty I’m not here to inquire about your well being because truthfully I say, it is of no concern of mine. I write to you of selfish need. I’d like to finally clear the air because to let go it needs to be.
Our history has never been good and though I won’t go into details I will tell you this, I never allowed you back in, not because you made a mistakes but because you continued to make them over and over again. Not once has there been a time I could say to have ever been proud of you. Life I have learned is something so sacred that one should only allow those who bring in joy and positive vibes around you. I’ve also learned that sometimes the people who bring you down the most are those you at one point held closest. So plain and simply I say to you, you are not what I want or even need in my life. You are a stranger who at one point made my soul ache in your absence. That’s why I say that time was one of my greatest assets. I shall not waste her for she has been my greatest friend in this ordeal you’ve placed us in. I have moved on now… you should too.
I’ll leave you with at least this, I shall not blame you for any wrong that’s been done. Nor for all those moments although tough, have made me strong. That’s as far as my gratitude towards you goes. Anymore than that and I’d be a lying asshole 🙂 So good-bye dear one for it was nice learning you. The toughest lesson in life. I owe that all to you.
Photo Credit: Natal Galvan, Location: California Yoga Fest