With my head resting in my palms and gaze directed up into the dark and deep abyss above me, characters from a time of what seems so long ago begin to rush back. There are so many of them, people that I’ve encountered throughout my time away from home. Even smells and sounds float back to my senses, rapidly taking me to unique places in time. It’s times like these that I wish I had someone to share these details of my life with. I wish that I could share and that they’d listen, not from obligation, but because they care enough to want to get lost in a good story. An ear who listens out of pure interest and not because it could get them somewhere; hidden motives.
People don’t have time anymore for good stories, not unless it pertains to them, and that’s the sad truth. It’s all about listening to themselves speak, or at the very least, being the protagonist of the current story being told. You’ve got to love the honesty too. When you’re trying to share a story, some people will let you know without speaking it so that they could care less about what you could be trying to share. Their gaze screaming, “I don’t care. I’m listening to be nice..” or my favorite facial expression, “I’m acting like I’m listening but also staring away to let you know I’m also kind of ignoring you.”
And so, I journal. I write down people, places, and things. I may not be able to verbally tell my stories, but I have faith that someday all the pages of most of my journaling will tell the stories that are meant to be shared. They will have their time. Until then, I will be that ear for others.I mean hell, everyone knows how much I do love a good story. So let them tell theirs. I’ll reminisce to myself, allowing for all those characters to swirl and dance, and melt together; live on inside my mind.
One thought on “Stardust Conception”
Journal helps express the voice of the voiceless. Stories are meant to be shared but not all stories are meant for everyone. With keeping that line of thought, I’ve learned to know your audience in getting your story out so it can be fully understood or to have their undivided attention. At our core, we’re emotionally irrational beings who’s behavior has been to please the ego or to survive in any environment using whatever tools or skills we have. A lot of those times we don’t realize that we’re using these survival behavioral skills to extract what we can benefit from that shared story rather than taking it for what it is, an experience.
Over the years, I’ve come to learn through the trauma, the loneliness, the cult like behaviors, depression and anxiety from going to one social group to another, that not everyone will have their undivided attention to you. Through it all though, the few ones that actually and willfully listen will be the most intimate bonding you’ll have in that very moment. This brings us closer to knowing that we’re not alone. There is someone in the universe that will hear you, genuinely listen to your story and experience what you experience. Be grateful for that moment, most of us won’t recognize the opportunity they have in being present and have an intimate experience that can be as simple as sharing a story. It’s difficult to stay positive in sharing when the many would rather rip you a apart and wear your experience as if it’s their own. So know your audience, and if there is no one then journal it out to the universe, someone will hear you.
I love you Nat, stay safe and I’m all ears. 🙂
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