Respectfully Ours

“I find his advances so irritating but there isn’t much I can say, let alone do.”

“His timing couldn’t be worse. He wakes me up in the middle of the night after a long day and I am just not up for it but I give in anyways.”

“I keep telling him that I’m not interested in dinner, but he just won’t let up.”

“I just found out that they don’t pay me as much as him even though I have been here longer. I’m scared to even say anything because if I do. they’ll find a  way to fire me.”

There are moments when to be a woman feels like more of a chore than anything else. Almost like a burden placed on us by our ancestral society. Not only do we carry the weight of our children, but we also carry the pleasure of men. To be a woman, for those who are free, it is a delight. For those who are chained down to the expectations of another, the burden weighs heavy. Yet, the burden weighs on us for simply allowing it. It is about to be 2018 and it is only now that we are slowly starting to demand a right that is respectfully ours.

After being silenced for so long, it is time that we loudly begin to use our voices, and confidently take steps towards changing how the world as a whole view and treat women. There are those who argue that we are far more progressive than women in other countries but I counter them with the thought that just because others are struggling more than we are, does not mean we still don’t deserve to be treated as the beautiful souls that we are.

We once used to be the country that everyone looked towards for instruction or example. I want to be that for the women in other countries. I want us to represent and symbolize what it should be like for women of all over the world. After being silenced for so long, we must loudly begin to use our voices. After many years of being looked as a “lesser than” rather than an “equal to”, we must now demand it. Ladies, the view of ourselves has to change before anything else. That new view point will inevitability get the ball rolling. Our expectations for ourselves must be heightened not simply because we must, but more so because we can and we don’t. We matter and if we don’t believe so, then how will we change society and its distorted view of one of the most precious beings on this planet? Because remember ladies, we are Goddesses and without us, there is no life, no?

We must speak because if we don’t, who will do it for us?

We must fight and stand up for ourselves because if we don’t…who will?

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Being Alone

Alone Time. Honestly, it’s one of my favorites.

In a world where people no longer cherish a moment of “alone time”, I am a BIG advocate on voluntary alone time. Society today is constantly connected and alone time is what refuels our tank when it runs empty. The mind and the soul need a moment of solitude. We internally need the peace of quiet, the calm of nothingness.  There is an art to being alone and within that art there is a thin line that if crossed can lead to more of a problem than a solution. I find that by never crossing that line there are so many pluses to having a bit of alone time that it makes you question how there are people who avoid it like the plague.

One of my favorite things to be is to be alone. I find solace in it. Not because I am anti-social but more so because I am pro-sanity. For me, being alone feels like peace entangled with thrill. Peace for its obvious reasons, thrill because it’s such a rarity. Life today constantly feels so busy that I try to steal moments for myself any way I can find it, like an addict needing a fix. I hardly get any “me” time and so when I can run off by myself for a bit, I make sure I do.

For instance, I am constantly surrounded by people. I work in the restaurant industry so most of my days are wrapped up in customers of all different styles, temperament, and culture. I also live with my significant other whom I love dearly. With that, said he does like to spend any minuet I have off, together. If I’m not working or with the boyfriend, I am with friends either advice giving or just hanging out and having a couple cocktails. I want to make clear that I am not complaining by any means. I love my life and those in it. Yet, I must admit that it does not leave me much room for “me” time. Recently was when I noticed that I was spreading myself thin and it was taking a toll on my mood completely. One of the ways I took control towards a more positive lifestyle change was incorporating more time for myself into my day. Whether it was an extra 30 mins in the morning or an extra 30 mins at night, or maybe I got out of work a little earlier than normal, I made sure I found myself some time to clear my mind. I quickly began to notice all the good that it was doing for me.

I noticed a heightened sense of creativity. I began to pump out more ideas for my writing, motivating to me to utilize my time in a manner where I would spend more time writing versus doing something unproductive such as watching t.v. or scrolling through my Facebook. I noticed that my problem solving skills dramatically improved. The quality of advice that I was now giving friends was much clearer and easier to obtain than once before. At work, I was able to focus better and so I was able to remember things off the top of my head, even the most minuscule of detail. I found that I was beginning to feel an inner strength that I hadn’t quite felt before. In my alone time, I had discovered time for self-reflection and in doing so is when I began to find strength from within.

I am sure that most of you reading this will think,

“Well, I already barely have any time for the things in my life that I must tend to. I will never have time for any “alone time.” I mean seriously, who’s got time for that?”

I say unto you, for everything that you place before you, before your needs, you are telling yourself that you mean nothing while the world means everything. But what you don’t see is that without you there is no world, for your world truly exists only within you. If you do not begin to place yourself first, in a healthy manner of course, then how will you have enough of yourself to give to others? How will you have enough life within yourself to live? The mind will eventually implode and your soul will darken and die, and to be dead while living is the most terrible death one could ever suffer. Finding yourself some alone time would be one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself. It isn’t being selfish. It would be selfish not to because then you wouldn’t be allowing for others to have the best version of you that you could possibly be. So remember even if it’s an extra five minuets a day, give yourself that much needed “You” time.

You deserve it.

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Almost Forgetting

I almost forgot about detachment. The stepping out of the circus that the external world most times is. I lost myself for quite sometime because I allowed for other people’s bullshit to become my own. I cannot tell you how annoyed I was to be aware that I was becoming less aware. That’s what I call tragic. My days were being filled with unnecessary distractions that I deemed necessary. One day blurred into the other and then again and again. I had forgotten about my stones and crystals and all of their uses. I forgot my prayers to my Universal Mother and Earthly Father. Meditation was no longer a thought. I began to simply exist.

Time goes on and I begin to grow unhappy. I found no joy in the simple things because the simple things weren’t being acknowledged. I found only content in the big things. A mere moment of satisfaction that flickered out barely leaving a memory behind. An unhappy soul begins to act out and so mine did. It was in an argument with a fellow troubled soul that I found myself asking, “What am I doing? Why do I care this much?” To me I found caring too much equally as harmful as arguing too much. A little bit of it is healthy. More than that and you’re asking for trouble. It was then that I began to look inside of myself. I began having an internal conversation to try to figure out how I had gotten to such a point. I knew about meditation, about the effects of internal dialogue, of how to not let the outside world determine your internal happiness and feeling of self worth. I had stopped practicing all of the things I had learned in the last few years and I was watching it create havoc on my life.

The second I began to realize all of this I took action. It’s only action that gets anything done. There was no point in me coming to this realization and not doing anything about it, right? I mean, did I want to be happy? Of course!

That night I took the last hour of my waking day to sit quietly in my room. No electronics running, other than my phone in the distance, playing calm meditation music. I sat and cleared my mind for just a few minuets. I hadn’t meditated for such a while that in took me a second to really get into it. Once my thoughts began pouring back in, I did a physical brain dump. I heard these thoughts but never listened. The moment one thought finished I visualized popping it, like a balloon, and the thought disappeared into nothing. Soon my mind quieted again and there I sat, just being one with myself.

The next day I felt as light as a feather. I had slept like a rock the night before and woke up with a sense of rejuvenation. That day had gone smoothly. There had been no drama, no feeling of sadness. That night I took advantage of my sage and of course, my crystals, infusing them into what I was now making my nightly ritual. I began to feel a momentum build in my life and this is where I am at now, just riding the wave.

I now realize how easy it is to become engulfed in life and in people’s dilemmas, even after knowing all about the laws of the Universe and the gifts it gives us to counter the negative. I make a conscious effort everyday to not allow being swallowed up by negativity again. I’m sure that one day life will throw me for a big loop threatening once again my awareness. It’s only due time for it’s the yin and yang of life. By then I wish to be stronger willed and able to walk through the storm without getting caught up in the downpour. So until then, I practice Mindfulness and embrace the power of Positive Thinking.

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