I don’t know shit about life. All I know is that I know nothing really. My 20’s started off with me knowing exactly what life was about and how to work around it. I quickly learned that there isn’t a way to work around life. You’ve got to work with it. That means you need to live day to day observing what goes on around you. This is how you learn to maneuver your way along with life and the obstacles (lessons) that are bestowed upon us on a day to day basis.

As I was on my way to the grocery store today, I was in a more pensive state of mind than usual. My mind bounced from one topic to the next, and as I thought, I couldn’t help but observe one constant thread creating a link between all of them. The theme being “relationships” and with each fresh new subject that coursed through my mind, I noticed how bonds that we create with others (or lack thereof) really can make or break a situation.

Growing up I was accustomed to watching adults around me be evasive with their friends and even family members. They would ignore phone calls, constantly rescheduled plans that were previously made, and always seemed bothered at having to socialize with others who so badly wanted to socialize with them. It is no wonder that I’ve developed into more of a “right here right now” type of person. I connect with others in the present moment, but once you’re out of my sight, it is what is in front of me that I focus on, not on trying to maintain what was. Unlike my pets or plants, I don’t know how to cultivate and nurture friendships, and with how technology is, it is easier for others to point that out. Now more than ever it is easy to stay in contact with people no matter the distance. Yet in doing so, I feel that it is almost like having to trade your personal freedom and time for making sure others feel important. To me, it feels as though the advancement in technology and being able to stay connected with others has made relationship building a tedious job, something I have to make sure to check off my list, instead of it being something that is naturally sparked in me to do.

There is a level of feeling personally attacked that people feel if you’re not one to participate as often in the every day social connection. I can tell you that as someone who has FB and IG, the fact that I am not constantly liking posts, properly tagging people in pictures, commenting on life events be it minor or major, it has been talked about and brought to my attention. Only those who really know who I am understand that I am not one to be attached to hip to my phone. I could lose my phone and it’ll take me days before even going to the store to replace it because I could care less about having it. If it was not because everything in life is attached to my phone, I’d just as easily have a house line.

So, am I like this because I’ve been conditioned to be so after witnessing those around me do the same? Am I a product of my generation, where I became stuck to how easy things in life were before? Regardless, I know that relationships are important, and I am understanding that although I may not be the greatest at keeping up socially, I have to do a better job at it, even if it is in my own way. Connections are important and to maintain those connections you must put forth time and energy into them. Sure, you may not want to be measured against today’s social standards, but it is still important to show those you love that you do. It’s either invest the time and energy now while you have it or living a deafening life of loneliness and misery later.