Waking up between the 2:45am and 3:38am is the time I rise up randomly, wide awake, thoughts demanding my attention. It isn’t typical for this to happen to me but when it does, I can expect to not be able to get back to sleep for another couple of hours. It’s a moment in time in which I can proudly show myself how lazy I’m not, because instead of giving in and getting up, I lay working hard to get myself back to sleep. But, until I do, this is where I find my thoughts sprinting from one topic to the next without warning. Mentally, my brain takes a trip to places I rather not visit, trying to take swims in deep pools of negativity.

Last night was one of these nights. I had to keep reminding myself, “The Universe has your back…. Everything is ok… You don’t know the future, so don’t be scared of the unknown because it’s going to be so GOOD….”

I know that I’ve reached a point in my life where something is going to happen; I am at a pivotal point in my life. With so much that has removed itself from my life, I am now very open to any opportunities that come my way. I am excited for this, or at least I tell myself that I am excited. Yet, I definitely know that there is a huge transitional period that I’m entering, and I have to acknowledge the fact that, yes, I am a little nervous. No matter which way I turn, I know that I will be once again, starting completely over. I’ve started my life over numerous times, so it’s almost second nature to know what to do and how to go about doing it. I can’t argue that romanticizing starting over once again is difficult this time around. I’m at a point in my life where I’d like to start building my nest, yet maybe this is showing me that here isn’t the place.

Day two of the new year and I’m contemplating life and my current choices, waiting and resting while I allow for new opportunities to present themselves to me. I guess, if I really think about it, I’m right on track.