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Inner Work

~ Natal Galvan

It’s been over a decade that I’ve been working on myself from the inside out. From exercising shadow work to learning new spiritual practicies, I’ve taken a lot of time in getting to know myself as much as possible. In my honest opinion, it’s what truly matters most, enhancing the inside. My journey has had its up as well as downs of course, but it has all been more than well worth it.

I am one to always embrace change and love evolving. It amazes me when I come across questions, reflective questions that really make me dig deep within myself, questions that I feel like I should automatically know the answer to because I’m dealing with myself, but yet, I don’t even have the faintest idea of what the answer truly is. It could take me days to answer a question that is posed upon me. I find that fascinating. What is even more so, are always the answers because they’re never the initial answer that I start with. As I continue digging, the real underlying answers arise, and that’s where the truth of the matter is really embedded.

It started with a small article on finances and how to work on money blocks which led me into a rabbit hole of, well, myself really. Everyday can give you a slight nudge into self discovery you’re open to it. Tonight’s nudge led me into a day dream of future deliciousness to be had. All it takes is a dream, a thought, to produce enough momentum to achieve what you want. It’s really as easy as that.

Knowledge of What’s Around You

~ Natal Galvan

Awareness. It’s not a skill many people have. I would go as far as to call it a gift because for some I don’t think it could be taught. It is something so common and present, because awareness just is, yet most of your everyday people don’t seem to grasp it, let alone execute it.

In a society in which we are continously moving from one thing to the next, all of which is selfishly acted upon, how could one be aware if the only focal point is that of yourself? Now don’t get me wrong I believe in being selfish. I believe that because people aren’t selfish enough, that is why we find so much anxiety, depression, stress, and inadequacy among people today. But one can be selfish and still be aware. I do believe that awareness will not only give you a bit of a leg up in life in some cases, but will also help avoid unwanted situations. Not to mention people have a level of respect for those who are aware.

Countless frustrating situations could be completely avoided if at least one person would have been aware in any given situation. By being unaware you’re more at risk to find yourself in an unpleasant situation, not only for yourself but others as well. It has the potential to help us through even during the most mundane of events, to those that are more life altering. By being present and aware, we are able to maneuver around life with a bit more ease.

To bring a bit more awareness into my life I took up meditation, and although thats been a bit of a struggle, I can already see a difference in myself and how I handle most situations. Since I’ve been working hard on that, I now see it more often the lack that there is of it within my peers. It’s not my journey to go around preaching the power of awareness. Not at this time anyways. I myself am a student still diving into these lessons, but one cant help to naturally notice that there is a lack of it in society. It’s not heartbreaking. Like I mentioned earlier, everyone has their own journey and we are each at various different stages in our growing process. I have faith that little by little the world is awakening to new ways of thought and in that, they’ll unlock their own sense of awareness.

The New Addition

~ Natal Galvan

The Universe has gifted me a new furry friend. Her name is Margo, named after one of my most favorite movies, Fargo, and I’ve had her now for a couple of months. She started as a foster and as we all grew to love her, especially my sister’s pup, I saw no other choice but to adopt her. It came at a great time, too, because next month is the commencement of the anniversaries of so many losses last year. I lost four very important souls to me, two of which were closer to me than anything else in the world. One passed away on me due to old age. One passed totally unexpectedly only after 6 years of being apart of my life. Another died due to a long battle with disease, and the fourth passed by choice, alone in summer Florida woods, only to be found months later by an unsuspecting wanderer.

Last year was riddled with unease for me. It seemed as though one month after the next after the next there was something for me to brace for. It is of no surprise as to why as time went on, I slowly started to pull away, to find peace in solitude. Some say that misery loves company, and where I do see that being true in most cases, it was not true for mine. Misery, for me, calls for alone time, solitude. I don’t care to be around anyone else but myself in order to work out the issues that I am going through. I’ve never been one to speak of any personal negativities, and I leave the come up stories for later on in life. I don’t like calling attention to myself or situations that I find myself in especially those of sorrow. I’m not one to push my sadness or worries, stresses and frustrations, on to others. My journals work for me as an outlet to work things through. My furry friends work for me in ways of emotional support. They’re unconditional love and loyalty is so great that it wraps me up in a warm blanket leaving me feeling cared for.

Margo is a 2 year old mixed breed from Georgia with only Chihuahua being what we know of her true make up. Funny because I’ve always disliked Chi’s and have always said to myself that it would be the last dog breed on Earth I’d buy into. Talk about manifesting and attraction!! But that’s a totally different topic to write about. Although Margo had to leave behind her 8 puppies, she has brought so much love and spunk to this home. Shes become my little buddy. I couldn’t be happier, and by the looks of it, neither could she.

Keeping Quiet

~ Natal Galvan

“Most men are so thoroughly subjective that nothing really interests them but themselves. They always think of their own case as soon as ever any remark is made, and their whole attention is engrossed and absorbed by the merest chance reference to anything which affects them personally, be it never so remote.” -Arthur Schopenhauer

I read this quote and I immediately thought of myself. It is true, that when those around me are tellibging their tales, my brain can’t help but attach personal stories to the words they speak. It’s almost like I’m bursting at the seams, yet trying to be patient, waiting for them to finish, just so that I can participate and share my own experiences. But why? Why is it that we have such a need to intrude on other people’s moment? Maybe not so much intruding, but that urge of sharing.

I’m slowly learning that not only do I not have to always share my own stories, but I also don’t always have to offer up my advice. I’m learning to speak a lot less. If someone is genuine and wanting any of these from me, then they’ll ask. I’m noting that by allowing others to speak freely without interruption from me, they obviously share more. The less I speak, the more I learn about them.

Another true point is the less I offer up, the less I feel rejected. I can’t mention how many times, while trying to participate in a conversation, my comments go unacknowledged. It’s never a good feeling when you feel like no one’s really listening to you. But again, without allowing for those to ask me, I’m only putting myself out there for a possible rejection.

People love to talk and in their world it’s about them. So I’m learning to speak less. As an observer I absorb much more by doing that, which is doing nothing, only listen. It’s incredible the amount that you learn about others or your surroundings by simply keeping quiet.

Travel Detours

~ Natal Galvan

Leave it to what was supposed to be a fun and adventurous overseas trip, to have you come home feeling unbalanced and slightly defeated, and it is not to be for the reasons you would think.

A week of fun is what it was supposed to be. The first half of the week was to be a bit more relaxing under the Florida sun. A bit of beach time mixed in with some booze and good food was all it was meant to be for the four of us. Each traveler, carrying far more weight than what was contained in their luggage, were anxiously awaiting this mini getaway from the harsh realities of a cold Jersey life. Now looking back at it, I guess it wasn’t a total shock that by day two of this 4-day excursion the group had let a small ripple course between them. Not all was lost, and we were able to enjoy the last full day we had together as a unit, but no matter. The air felt thick and I was very much ready to get to the latter half of my vacation, the one I was really waiting for.

A four-day music festival in the capital of Colombia, Bogota with over a hundred bands and DJs from all over the world were set to perform on this little trip. I had never been to anything of the sort, and I would be lying to you if I said that I wasn’t at all nervous about going. Months prior I had been invited by a good friend of mine and since then I had talked another good friend of mine to tag along with me. She was also tagging along on the first half of the trip to Florida, we needless to say, I was comfortable with leaving the good ol’ USA to head to a an “out of this world” experience. Being 36, who knew if I’d ever get a chance like this again, especially at an age that is still deemed “acceptable” for me to attend. With a bit of a rocky start to this week’s travel endeavors, I was stoked to be flying somewhere totally new. After our 4 am, hour long drive to the airport, we excitedly exited our Uber and headed inside to the terminal. Our excitement lasted for what seemed only a breath for the second we arrived at the front desk that moment of happiness was snatched up by one young lady simply doing her job.

Again, hindsight is a little bitch, because looking back, it all almost seemed too easy. We had arrived at the airport with more than plenty of time. There was no line to wait into so as soon as we printed out our baggage tickets, we were able to move right through to the very front. The girl who called us up was pleasant enough for it being so early in the morning, not to mention when we initially walked in, she was having trouble with an irate customer. She swiftly moved through all our paperwork without a hiccup, and finally with our suitcases on the baggage belt, it was at this very moment the air had been sucked out of us.

“Ok ladies, lastly I just need to see your proof of COVID vaccination card or proof of a negative test please.”

It seemed like I stared at her for a full 20 seconds before asking her what she meant, as if I hadn’t known what she meant. Was I subconsciously stalling? Most likely. I mean I didn’t have my card on me, no test, and neither did my friend. NEITHER of us had thought to look since both of us had already flown to multiple countries by this point without ever being asked for documentation. Naively, we both had thought this entire COVID shit had blown over. After dancing around with the girl for a couple of minutes in regard to what our options were, we decided to allow her to reschedule our flights for free for the very next day, in hopes that we’d be able to find some place to test within those 24hrs. Testing wasn’t going to be the problem, getting the results back in time was. Regardless, we were turned away without a way to fly, and as we sat in the airport deciding what to do next, I couldn’t help but admire our composure. Most people in our shoes would have lost their shit, and although I wanted to scream due to our stupidity of the situation, I couldn’t. I didn’t blame the airline for not sending out a reminder email that this destination was a “COVID Restricted Access” location or whatever. I couldn’t blame the friend who had invited us for not mentioning it, even if he had been flying back and forth to Colombia just recently. At the end of it all, it was our own fault.

To make a VERY long story short, we were not going to receive our results in time, and although we still took it just in case, we decided to make moves in case such was to happen. Which it did.

In our hastened (and very tired) state of mind, we ended up booking an Airbnb that was NOT what was advertised. This was the cherry on our nightmare sundae because when we arrived we completely deflated. The neighborhood was sketchy to say the least, with about 20 stray cats littering the roads, sidewalks, and driveways. Broken down cars and barred up windows decorated the, what was described to be as, a “quaint” neighborhood. Inside it was dark, dirty, and musty, not at all like the beautifully bright “cottage” stated in the ad. Even opening up all the windows didn’t help this place. There was a huge rat trap under the bathroom sink. The handles on most of the drawers throughout the place were broken or completely missing. Duct tape framed the door leading outside, most likely to help keep out the pests, and while we tried to make the most of this place, there was just no way that we’d be able to stay 4 nights here. Zero.

It was the moment that my friend and I looked at each other, our eyes meeting over top of the overused, grungy brown leather couch, that we decided to not let this ruin our trip. Since the airport, we had been firm in our decision to make the most of it, and this Airbnb was not going to make up for us missing our music festival. We put not only our funds but also our thinking caps together and made moves to turn this vacation around. We booked an affordable hotel in St. Pete, rented a car, and came up with a game plan. On our drive from the Airbnb to the hotel we did research on places to site see, as well as restaurants, bars, etc. Throughout our unexpected St. Pete 4 night stay we did all that and more.

Was this week what I expected? Was it what I thought I wanted? Nope. Not by the least bit. Can I say that maybe it was more of what I needed? Sure. Maybe I didn’t need to go into my work season with a bang? Maybe this wasn’t the time for me to enjoy my most authentic self under a barrage of musical artists and slight consumption of hallucinogenic goodies. On my way home from Florida, I discovered that what was supposed to be my flight back home from Bogota to Tampa was actually cancelled, meaning that if I had gone to Colombia, I would have been stranded coming home. The kicker was that even though my friend and I had been flying on the same flight, it was only my ticket that had been canceled, not my friend’s ticket. Could it have been fate that stood in our way that morning we were to fly out? I’m not a believer in coincidences. I am, however, a believer at looking at the glass half full. This entire ordeal could have been worse by simply allowing for external shit to affect my internal world. It was not easy, in fact, I arrived home more exhausted than if I would have spent the 4 days at the music festival. It was a test in emotional and mental strength, and I feel as though I passed with flying colors. Although in the very thickness of it I did not see what good would come, I now know that it’s moments like those that make up what is life’s real adventure.

Losing A Buddy: Pets

~ Natal Galvan

I knew that the passing of my 19 yr old dog was imminent. I braced for it, probably coming to terms with it much earlier than most would have. When I got my cat Stella, I figured he would be such a support. And he was…for 3 months and then he, too, died.

There are things that I still cannot get used to, and I never realized how hard it truly would be. Not just normal routines now broken, such as daily feedings and walks. Or calling out for them randomly just to hear their paws against the floors coming out towards you. Or even hearing their name out loud, because now, there isn’t any of that either. But, for instance, I notice that I now leave a pile of clothes at the foot of my bed, something I’ve never done before. You could always find Stella there at the very end of every night until the moment he felt me stir awake in the morning. It’s a weird feeling not feeling his big, warm body there against my toes when I’m stretching out. I can only expect that is the very reason why I’ve now been randomly leaving piles of whatever where he once laid.

I now always see movements in my peripheral where I felt like my dog once walked. It’s almost like I see a furry, white, blurry ball of cotton moving around. I look, and for a split second, I see her staring up at me, head cocked to the side, wondering who knows what. But that’s a mirage. She’s not there, nor will she be. It’s like my mind and body are still catching up to what my heart has come to already accept.

I knew that losing a pet would be hard. Losing both was soul crushing. Sometimes life feels a little empty, as if I no longer have a real purpose to be stable anymore. I’ve been filling up my time with a bit more of me time, which falls in alignment with winter and hibernation season. I’ve gotten to go on a couple extra little adventures and have also done a bit of splurging on myself. I hadn’t realized how much money it took raising my babies. Yet, none of that is comforting in moments when I wish so bad they were back here and annoying the shit out of me. Stella always bumping his fuzzy, soft-ball sized head against my hand any time I wrote. Melita barking at me to toss her the toy she only brought halfway towards me.

People ask me all the time, “Am I ready for another dose of pawppy love??” Sure. There’s nothing like it. But I’m not searching. I have a feeling my next four legged best bud is going to find me, so in the mean time, I’m just here hanging out, getting used to the new norm until it no longer is. It is obvious that I will never forget my two little beanies and that the love I hold for them will live in me forever. There’s talk about a rainbow bridge at the end of this short journey, and that’s where we reunite with all of those we love who have also met the end of their journey, that’s including our beloved pets. Not that I’m rushing, but I look forward to the day I get to bury my face in theirs, enjoying their company once again.

The Universe, A Trickster

~ Natal Galvan

The Universe has one hell of a humor. For instance, I loathe waking up before the sun is up. For whatever reason since a child, I’ve had to get up ridiculously early, be it for school during the week, or, if school was out, to get to the babysitter’s house before mom went into her 5am shift. I wouldn’t say there’s trauma, but I’ve definitely developed a distaste for getting up early, especially for things that I have to do versus want to do.

Anyways, in the last couple of days, I’ve been diving a bit deeper into some self-discovery. I took my days off this week and dedicated that time to me, and during this time I decided to look into what yoga classes my local studio had available. I was excited to see that they had a 6am class on the morning I was to go back to work, and although I dislike getting up so early, with a late start time for work, why not? I love yoga. There’s not much motivation needed to get me to go, it’s timing that usually gets in the way. So I decided that I would wake up and get to that 6am Power Yoga class to begin the start of my work week off right. I set up all I’d needed the night before, clothes, mat, work gear, etc had some tea before bed, an earlier bedtime than usual to avoid being cranky. I was all set and ready to go.

My alarm goes off. An angelic little ringtone I set as to not be jolted awake by too harsh of an alarm. I decided the night before to set my phone across the room so that I would have to get out of bed to turn it off. Leaving it next to my bed just leaves me, still, too comfortable to get out of bed until I absolutely have to. I tumble out of bed, and only half consciously get ready for my class. It’s not until about 15 mins later that I then take a glance at my phone and see a text message from an unsaved number. Not crazy since I just recently lost my phone on a trip to Jamaica and lost all of my contacts. As I open the message and read on, it states that the 6am Power Yoga class has been canceled due to a medical emergency. This is why I know the Universe is a prankster, and I don’t know who got a bigger laugh, her or me.

I did not find myself going back to bed, and not because I wouldn’t have but because I had already had a morning coffee and for me, there is no coming back from that. Instead, I now sit in front of my journal and create a bit. I think back to yesterday and how I had just read an article on how to make the most of your days. In one point it mentioned how waking up at 5am is beneficial to getting more out of your day as well as creating a healthier sleep cycle. I crack a smile at this because this is no coincidence.

For me, the biggest bummer of this was the fact that I was in the middle of finishing up a dream. Ironically, at the point that my alarm went off, I was saying ‘goodbye’ to all of those who helped me on my journey, or at least that’s what it felt like. I do remember that I was able to say bye to the two who guided me the most, or again, that’s what it felt like. The first was a woman, her hair pinned back at the sides like a 1940s war nurse. She wore a thin white silky, dress, with flowers embroidered on the hem of the skirt part. She was taller than me, slim, and hugged me tight as we said our goodbyes. As she pulled away tearfully walks away, she says to me, “Don’t forget your mother isn’t the only one who took care of you…” and her voice trails away. I’m then quickly distracted because I feel the urgency of having to say bye to the others. I see a young man; it was obvious that our hearts tugged for one another. As I make my way to him, I push past a ‘better’ looking chap who is trying to half-ass give me a kiss. He feels embarrassed but I don’t care. His vibe was “Gaston” ish from Beauty and the Beast. I move right past him and his inflated ego and wrap my arms tightly around ‘my’ guy, taking him by surprise. He seems sad, as he knew this day was coming. I hold him tight and say, “Thank you.” Looking over his shoulder I see an older man, standing in the distance. He seemed wiser. He patiently waited for his turn to say his farewells. Then, all of the sudden, like air being vacuumed out, I woke up to my alarm.

The feeling I came out with was that of wanting to have been given the chance to say bye to the others. Yet, I was content with being able to see the two that I did. Who were they? It was as if we all knew I wasn’t supposed to be there forever, wherever “there” is. I’m a firm believer in receiving messages through our dreams. I may not know exactly what this morning’s dream message was exactly, but I’ve got a feeling that I’ll be moving into a different phase of my life quite shortly.

My Walk Remembered

~ Natal Galvan

After a much needed “me” morning that included reading tarot, journaling, and a mini meditation session, I decided that I wanted to extend my personal time. I showered, dressed, pack a small backpack, and off I went to interact with the Universe. From the moment I stepped onto the sidewalk I knew I had made the right decision. Instead of walking on the main roads towards the boardwalk, I opted to cut through the backstreets, making my way through neighborhoods I never really drive through. With headphones in, random songs setting the soundtrack to my day, I gazed at little quaint houses, cottage-style homes I never knew existed. Meanwhile on the very same street, huge mansions were in the process of being built. At times the home being so big it casted dark shadows over humble homes. I enjoyed looking at these different houses, taking in their outdoor decor, and imagining the array of personalities that lived within those walls.

The weather was grey with a slight chill and a lazy breeze. It was early afternoon, so it wasn’t very busy. There was a sprinkle of people walking their dogs, but my first interaction was with a woman, blocks deep into my walk. She was alone and walked with a purpose. I saw her from a few houses away. From a distance she seemed young and athletic, her curly hair bounced with every determined step. She walked on the same sidewalk as I did, and as she got closer, I noticed she was an older woman, who looked pretty darn good for her age. Those bouncy curls were locks of whitish grey, slight lines decorated the sides of her eyes and smile. Her smile was the best. As we passed each other, in a gesture of greeting one another, we smiled. Her smile was big and bright, and it was yet another sign that I was on my proper path. Her smile made me feel so good that I too put a bit of a pep in my step, bouncing to the beat that played in my ears.

Once I got to the boardwalk, it was as if I was the only person in the world. It was completely empty of other people for miles that I could see. The waves crashed repeatedly to my right, and to my left were high rise condos and multimillion-dollar homes. No matter which way I looked there was something to observe. It’s obvious that beachfront properties are worth a pretty penny and why, but as I look at these homes, most of them empty, some to be sold while others have been left completely abandoned, it looked to me as though being wealthy isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. I compare the humble homes from the earlier neighborhood to these cold and empty mansions, and to me, there is no comparison. I much prefer a humble abode to a lifeless castle.

Right before the residential area turns into commercial properties, there’s a break, and within this area lies a playground. This is where I found my first sight of humans since stepping foot onto the boardwalk. There were 3 young adults, 2 guys and 1 girl, and then 2 kids, 1 boy, and 1 girl. As I slowly shortened the distance between us I noticed that the 2 girls were playing on the jungle gym, while the boys played frisbee. Watching them all play brought love to my heart. It was a beautiful moment to capture, people laughing and enjoying, fully, their present moment. On one of their tosses, the frisbee lands close to where I walked. One of the men runs over and to me, he looked like the sun. We made eye contact and his crisp blue eyes, pierced me like an ocean wave crashing into me. His golden dreads danced around his face like warm rays of sunshine. His smile said to me, “Hello there! Nice to see ya! Have a great day now!” I continued my walk feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside.

I felt like I was in complete alignment with everything around me. Even the animals were feeling my vibe. Squirrels wouldn’t run away but instead stood in their place observing me. Birds did not fly away, instead, they sat there because deep down inside their intuition said to them, “She’s here to enjoy her day just like you.”

It wasn’t all great. The moment I went from one town into the city, the difference was immediate. The upkeep and cleanliness of the boardwalk, its benches, plants, retail shops, etc declined tremendously. More people were walking around, but these people weren’t as warm and welcoming, more pained, stressed, and sad. This is a reminder that life is balanced and where there is beauty, within steps, there is also an ugly truth.

In the end, I walked a total of 8 miles. I stopped for a well-earned beer and wrote about it all. The extended “me” time was a personal success and made me realize how much I love connecting and playing with the world. I realized how long it had been since I had, and how I wouldn’t let that happen again. Just as the air I breath, the food I ingest, the moments of meditation I escape into…. connecting with the Universe is equally a need for me.

Can I Call It Lazy?

~ Natal Galvan

I am a writing machine. Actually no, not at all. I am currently a person sitting at a machine, writing. A true “writing machine” in human form and essence is what I used to be. I don’t really know what happened. I used to just sit and write all the time, for hours. As I sat concocting short stories or poems, scribbles of random thoughts, or inspired lyrics to a moment’s song, I’d also be thinking about, “if gifted the time, I’m publishing a book.” It’s what every young writer equates to being an “actual” writer to. Yet, “a writer” is what I used to go around saying I was. I mean, affirmations IS one of the best tools for manifesting.

Like I said, I don’t exactly know what happened. At some point, it was as though my life was flipped upside down like a pepper shaker. A big beardly giant, swooped me up with his hairy hungry fists, flipped me upside down, and shook the shit out of me. It’s been years now of me saying, “Uff this year was a doozey, looking forward to the New Year!” you’d think the dust would have settled by now, but no. And I am NOT complaining, not by any means. I have loved every single twist, turn, dip, climb my life has taken. It’s just as I sit here writing this, I am shocked at the level of laziness(?) I mean, COVID happened. Talk about time being gifted to me to write- but yet I didn’t write. I wrote nothing more than journal entries and lists of all kinds. Much more has happened post COVID, giving more inspiration to the story I could have written. But really that just an excuse to make me feel like less of a slacker because truth be told, as long as your life on Earth continues, there will always be new inspirations, and therefore always new stories to tell.

In the last few months, the lack of creation has been really poking at me. I feel I am in a really good place to begin to create once again. With the latest purge life has currently put me through as well as environmental changes, it’s as though I have been gifted tools to allow for more creation, and so I shall.

So for those of you who may have actually noticed, here is my great “come back” Let’s see what I make of it.

Senior “Pup”izens

~ Natal Galvan

The amount of time I begged for a pet seemed like forever. My infatuation for having a pet, a dog specifically, began when my parents still lived together. We lived in this quaint little white house, perfect for the family of 3 with another little one on the way. We had a decent sized backyard and tucked away and the far back corner was an old dog house left there by the previous owners. It had been built to look like a human home, yet this doggy house looked like it hadn’t been lived in ages. As I would play in the backyard, I would day dream of filling that little house with a happy puppy. Back then it was all I could do, was dream. It wouldn’t be until 15 years later that my dream would come true.

Melita came into my life at a perfect time.  I was in my final year of high school and and really had no other true responsibilities. At that time I hadn’t really known what I wanted to do after I graduated so being gifted her her was a blessing in disguise. Not only did she keep me anchored but also provided a bond that I had with no one else. She had become more than my best friend and more than just my road dog.

I have now lived with her long longer than I have without her. She is now a senior pup and has gone through an entire life span in front of my eyes. She is no longer the energized little being she once was. Her body snd mind have given way to time. Although I am constantly reminded of how old she is, I still, at first, never really see it. In my eyes she is still the little fluffy dog that came bouncing through the airport to greet me when I first picked her up. She is still the one to steal your Big Mac or pepperoni slice right from out under you if you’re not paying attention. She is still the one to go peeing on the boyfriend(s) that just don’t treat you all that well. She is still the one to take the lead when you’re out for walks and will defend you against any rabbit, bird, or even snail.

I realize that it is only in short due time time that she will no longer be physically here with me. However I also understand that after 20 years, she now needs a little rest. So until the day comes I will treasure every second like I am right now…

…as she sits here next to me inspiring me; gifting me the rush of emotions that swim around my chest. One of those being love draped in gratitude.