If you ever find yourself being invited to participate in a family business, my advice is to think twice. This holds true whether the invitation comes from your own kin or a loved one, such as a partner or significant other. This is particularly pertinent when it comes to the food and beverage industry.

For the past four months, I’ve been assisting my partner with his new venture. His decision to enter the restaurant industry at this stage of his life remains a mystery to me. Despite my two decades of experience in various types of restaurants, my advice to steer clear of this business model fell on deaf ears. As the saying goes, some people need to learn their lessons the hard way. Despite my reservations about the business, my love for my partner compelled me to lend a hand.

I brought a wealth of experience to the table. While I didn’t have all the answers to opening a restaurant, I certainly knew more than my partner and his family. Fast forward a few months, and I found myself gracefully stepping back. My academic commitments were a factor, but not the primary reason for my departure.

Menu items which my partner and I had discussed, items I knew that if we’d sell would do amazingly well, were quickly considered by the others and discarded. Conversations of plans as to how to move forward with certain goals would change within seconds without my knowledge of it, at times creating a double workload for me, having to do and redo projects. My role of interviewing and hiring was diminished to really only calling and speaking to those who couldn’t speak English. That’s when my experience was really needed, to interpret.

Being part of a family business where you don’t share the family name can be challenging. Regardless of your experience, there will always be those who believe that age or a certain background gives them the upper hand. I often felt that my ideas were entertained but never seriously considered, which was frustrating. The final straw came when we hired a professional chef, and even her qualifications were questioned.

Given my personality, it was difficult for me to hold my tongue, and I realized I had to leave. I couldn’t risk damaging my relationship with my partner or his family. Integrating into his family had already been a challenge, and the added stress of the business was the last thing I needed.

Life is short, and our purpose is to enjoy ourselves. When something ceases to be enjoyable or exciting, it’s a sign that it’s time to move on. I’ve learned to trust that instinct and not waste time, as it usually prevails. So, I sent an email requesting to be relieved of my management responsibilities. I drew a line in the sand and set a boundary. It was a liberating experience, but the lack of response to my email was disheartening. I felt as though my hard work and dedication over the past four months had been in vain.

I was left with a nagging pain in my neck from stress and a heavy heart. I realized that my partner had not made a better effort to involve me more in the business. It felt as though I was on a team that I hadn’t been recruited for. It was akin to letting the little sister play, but her position doesn’t count.

My next step is to avoid getting drawn into their queries. I’ve stepped away, and they need to figure things out. I wish them the best, and while it’s unfortunate that this wasn’t the joint project I had envisioned for my partner and me, that’s okay. I’m proud of myself for not falling into old patterns and for taking control of a potentially stressful situation. Now, it’s time for me to move on and enjoy the summer.